the battle of the bulge

so i just started weight watchers today and i am both horrified/disgusted and totally excited!

i joined at around 9pm and started by inputing everything i had eaten in my personal tracker. i could not believe how much i had eaten all day! of my daily points allowance, i had zero left and had even used 27 of my 35 for the week!!!!! shocking to say the least =O
to make matters worse, i had zero activities to enter for the day!!! no wonder i'm the weight that i am......hmmmmm.....*hinky*

so now i'm excited because i'm armed with all these tools that will enable me to do better tomorrow. i'm especially looking forward to my first meeting on wednesday!!

tomorrow, i'm starting fresh with a clean slate ;)

unavoidable comparisons

sometimes you can't help but compare yourself to others. weather to those closest to you or just random people you see. i sometimes feel inferior, and other times i feel superior. it's hard to not compare yourself....it's even harder to be confident in your own skin

shred, shred, shred

so i got to cleaning out ALL and I mean ALLLLLLLL of my old envelopes and papers. i had stuff from when I lived in Hanford. i had stuff from when I had my blazer. it was old. so we just spent like 3 hours shredding all of it....

i suddenly feel a weight lifted off my shoulder ;)

sleep on it...

what a difference a good night's sleep does for a struggling mind. i was tormented by my demons last night as usual. this time it was the stress of my finances and the accumulated boxes in my house. i've decided that taking it one day at a time might work best for me. i know, it's advice i've probably heard a million times, and also ignored a million times....

but maybe this time, it works....

despair....

bored out of my mind, lots of things to do, and yet can't lift a finger....

i know i shoudl stop and think before i dive in, but i can't seem to do that either...

three and a half weeks of couch-potato syndrome has made me lethargic and atrophic...

the will is in there somewhere, but the way keeps it from acting...

never give up, never surrender...